JOINT OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM HUSBANDS/BOYFRIENDS ASSOCIATION OF ZAMBIA OF THIS YEARS VALENTINE 2017

JOINT OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM HUSBANDS/BOYFRIENDS ASSOCIATION OF ZAMBIA OF THIS YEARS VALENTINE 2017

We the National Association of Husbands And Boyfriends' (NAHAB), wish to announce our annual 3 days maintenance works which will commence on 13 FEB and end on 16 FEB.

Please note that all cell phones will not be working during this period. To this effect so note that all relationship commitments are henceforth suspended and will only be reinstated on the 17 FEB.

we duly apologise for any inconvenience to our wives and girlfrends as well as side chicks who were hoping to be with us on valentines day.

The inconvenience caused is deeply regretted but necessary!!!

NAHAB....Protecting exploited boyfriend and Poor husband rights!!

DISCLAIMER: Notice to all members: if you are unable to reach our offices or customer care line for help that evil day called valentines, the safest way for you to escape these ladies is to pretend to be stuck in Mamba were the road cut into half. If that doesn't work say you are in Sesheke and the only bus 🚌 that reaches there is Mazandhu which is unfortunately suspended so you are stuck. But these women are clever and might pull off a sharp one on you so in the event that you get captured at home, muntu wandi just fall sick. In fact become very sick 😷 and start fitting and vomiting. 😰😰😰😰😰

Spending money unnecessary on flowers and chocolate and red dresses like a fool will not be condoned! Any such member caught doing such will be expelled from our organization. Times are hard in this Edgar Lungu economy. 2017 finance minister Felix Mutati has all encouraged us to tighten our belts. So why should you foolishly blow your hard earned loot?😒😒😒😒

We therefore strongly advice members to show discretion on the unnecessary things they waste money on.

Disclaimer: Please not that should the above instructions backfire on you, the union will not be held liable if you are dumped or go the next six months without sex. However it's your money so do as you please muntu wandi. Our job is to advise and protect. We have done that. The rest is up to you. If you have a good woman she won't pay attention to such nonsense and get mad as to why you did not bringing chocolate, flowers and all such nonsense. But if you have a pushi my guy you are on your own

Signed: NAHAB PRESIDENT

Mwaba Mutale

Cc: Boyfriends Association of Zambia (BBZ)
Cc: Blessers Association of Zambia
Cc: Tired and Bored Husbands Association of Zambia (TBAZ)
Cc: Shipwe Shipwe Union of Loafers and Other Stranded People
Cc: Cheaters Association of Zambia (CHAZ)

Viva NAHAB, Viva!!!!

የኢትዮጵያ ሙዚቃ ዓይነቶች

ለጨዋታ ያህል?
የኢትዮጵያ ሙዚቃ በፊት በፊት በአራት ቅኝት ይከፈላል ሲባል እንሰማ ነበር፥ ባቲ፣ አምባሳል፣ ትዝታ እና አንቺ ሆዬ።

አሁን አሁን ግን የኢትዮጵያ ሙዚቃ በአምስት መከፈሉ ውስጥ ዐዋቂ ምንጮች ነግረውናል፥
1. ትዝታ (ለሴቶች ብቻ የተፈቀደ፣ ወንድ ምን ትዝታ አለው? ስንቷን አብሮ የተኛትን ሴት በትክክል ያስታውሳል?)
2. አማስል (የአንዱን ብሔር ከሌላው ቀይጦ የሚዘፈን)
3. ፍራሽ አዳሽ (ቃሉ እንደሚለው)
4. አገሬ ሆይ (ለዲያስፖራ የታለመ፣ ጭብጡ ቪዛ ማግኛ ብቻ የሆነ ሙዚቃ ነገር)
5. ባትና ዳሌሽ (የሰውነት አካላት መዘርዝር ወይም በፈረንጅኛ ሜኑ)

ምን ትላላችሁ ጎበዝ?

*Menstruation Testimony!* የጌታ ምስክርነት

የጌታ ምስክርነት

በቤተክርስትያን የምስክርነት ቃል የሚሰማበት የአምልኮ ጊዜ ላይ የፓስተሩ የ16 ዓመት ልጅ ወደ መድረኩ ወጣች እና የሚከተለውን ምስክርነት ሰጠች. . .

"የጌታ ስም የተባረከ ይሁን! እየሱስ ጌታ  ነው!"

ሁሉም አማኝ በደስታ ተውጦ "ሃሌሉያ" አለ። ምስክርነቷን ቀጠለች፦

"ዕድሜዬ አሥራ ሦስት ከሆነበት ጊዜ ጀምሮ በማህፀኔ ላይ ከባድ ሕመም በየወሩ ይሰማኝ ነበር። ይህ ብቻ አይደለም በከፍተኛ ደረጃ እደማ ነበር። ስቃዩ እንዴት ከባድ እንደሆነ ለመናገር ቃላት የሉኝም። አንዳንድ ጊዜ ሕመሙ ሳያቋርጥ እስከ አምስት ቀን ሁሉ የሚቆይበት ጊዜ ሁሉ ነበር።

አሁን ግን መጽሐፍ ቅዱስን ከወንድም ቢንያም ጋር እሱ ቤት በጥንቃቄ ካጠናሁ እና እየሱስን እንደ ግል አዳኜ አድርጌ ከተቀበልኩ በኋላ ወደ ጌታ በመጸለይ አሁን ይኸው ላለፉት ሦስት ወራት አንድም ቀን ታምሜ አላውቅም። የሚፈሰኝ ደም ቆሟል። እንደምታዩት እያማረብኝ እና እየወፈርኩ ነው። አሁን ትንሽ ትንሽ ጠዋት ጠዋት ላይ፣ የሚያስመልሰኝን ነገር በማስቆም ጌታ ጤናዬን ሙሉ በሙሉ እንዲመልስልኝ ከወንድም ቢንያም ጋር አብረን እየጸለይን ነው። እንደሚያድነኝም እርግጠኛ ነኝ። የጌታ ስም የተባረከ ይሁን!!!"

በቤተክርስቲያኑ የነበረ መዕምን በሙሉ በጸጥታ ተዋጠ!

ወንድም ቢንያም ከፒያኖው ጀርባ ፌንት ሠራ።

እናትዋ "ነው እንዴ?. . ." 

*Menstruation Testimony!*
During the testimony period in church service; The 16-years
old Pastor's daughter stood up and said....
"Praise the Lord!"
Everybody shouted with joy, "Hallelujah". She continued:
"since the age of 13, I've been experiencing serious pain and
bleeding every month and it was unbearable. At times it
would last for 3-5 days.
But now, after a series of Bible studies and prayers with
brother Solomon in his house, the monthly pains and blood
flow have stopped for more than 3 months now. No more
pain, no more bleeding. You can see I'm even getting fatter
and prettier.
And I'm believing God to perfect my healing as we have
started to pray seriously about the small problem of
vomiting, especially in the morning. Praise the Lord".
The whole church was silent!
Brother Solomon fainted behind the piano.
The mother was like "HaH!!!!

Fresh Engineer's joke in amharic and english

የሥራ ቅጥር ቃለ መጠይቅ ላይ ነው አሉ። ፈተኙ የመ/ቤቱ ሥራ አስኪያጅ እና ቃለ መጠይቅ አድርጊ ኮሚቴ አንድ ገና ከቴክኖሎጂ ፋክሊቲ ተመርቶ የመጣ ፍሬሽ ኢንጂነርን እያነጋገረ ነው። የጽሑፍ ፈተና፣ ሌሎች ሌሎች መስፈርቶችን ሁሉ አሟልቷል። ቀጣሪው ኮሚቴ ሊቀጥሩት ፈልገዋል ስለዚህ ወደ “ገደለው” (ዋናው ቁምነገር) ገቡ።

“እሺ እንደ ጀማሪነትህ ስንት ብንከፍልህ ጥሩ ይመስልሃል?”

“ሌሎች፣ ሌሎች ጥቅማ ጥቅሞች እንደ ተጠበቁ ሆነው ከ 40 ሺ እስከ 50 ሺ በወር አይከፋም እላለሁ። ቅር የሚላችሁ ነገር አለ?”

ቃለ መጠይቅ አድራጊው ኮሚቴ አባላት እርስ በርስ ተያዩ እና “መልካም እንግዲህ በደምዎዙ ተስማምተናል። ጥቅማ ጥቅም ላልከው መ/ቤታችን ሊሰጥህ የሚችለው ጥቅማ ጥቅም በዓመት ሦስት ወር ከሙሉ ደምዎዝህ ጋር ዕረፍት፣ ሙሉ የሕክምና ወጪ፣ ተጨማሪ መሉ የጥርስ እና የዓይን ሕክምና ወጪህን መሸፈን፣ በዓመት አንድ ጊዜ ወደ ፈልግከው አገር ከቤተሰብህ ጋር ሄደህ ለ12 ቀናት የምትዝናናበትን ሙሉ ወጪ መሸፈን፣ በየሁለት ዓመቱ የሚቀየር ዘመናዊ መኪና ከናሽናል ሞተርስ ባንተ ምርጫ ተገዝቶ እንዲሰጥህ ማድረግ እንዲሁም ጡረታ ስትወጣ የደምዎዝህን ግማሽ መክፍል ነው እንደ ጥቅማ ጥቅም ልንሰጥህ የምንችለው። ቅር የሚልህ ነገር አለ?”

ኢንጂነሩ ወደ ኋላው ወንበሩ ላይ ለጠጥ አለና “ምን እየቀለዳችሁ ነው እንዴ . . .?”

የመ/ቤቱ ሥራ አስኪያጅም “አዎ። ግን ቀልዱን የጀመርከው እኮ አንተው ራስህ ነህ!”

The original English version of the above joke 

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

http://197.156.69.172/herald/index.php/environment/item/4191-the-untold-stories-of-poet-arthur-rimbaud

His Excellency Robert Mugabe, Father of Africa, new advice for young ladies in Amharic and English

ለሁሉም ወጣት ሴት እመቤቶች የማንቂያ ጥሪ!!!😆😆

*አዲስ የዓለም ሕዝብ ስታትስቲክስ*
በዚህች መሬት የተባለች ፕላኔት ላይ በአሁኑ ጊዜ 7.8 ቢሊዮን ሰዎች ይኖራሉ።
ከዚህ መሀል *5.6 ቢሊዮን ሴቶች ናቸው*
*2.2 ቢልዮኑ ደግሞ ወንዶች ናቸው*
ስለዚህ ውቢቷ ልጃችን ለፍቅር የሚጠይቅሽን ወንድ *እምቢ* ከማለትሽ በፊት ሁለት ጊዜ በደንብ አስቢበት! 😊
ከነዚያ 2,2 ቢሊዮን ወንዶቹ መካከል
1 ቢሊዮኑ አስቀድመው ትዳር መሥርተዋል
200 000 የሚሆኑት ደግሞ ወህኒ ቤት ወይም የአእምሮ ሕሙማን ሆስፒታል ውስጥ ናቸው
1 ቢሊዮን ወንዶች ይቀሩናል 😀😐😐😙😙😙😙
500 ሚሊዮኑ ሥራ ፈት ቦዘኔ ናቸው
ከተቀሩት 5% በመቶ ያክሉ ቡሽቲ ናቸው😠😋😋😋😋😋
3% በመቶዎቹ የካቶሊክ ቄሶች እና በገዳም የሚኖሩ ባሕታዊያን ናቸው😋😋
10% የሚሆኑት በእናት ወይም በአባት ወገን የቅርብ ዘመዶች ናቸው
ከዚህ ሁሉ የተረፉት ደግሞ ዕድሚያቸው አሊያም  ከ 66 ዓመት በላይ ወይም ከ 10 ዓመት በታች ናቸው...
ውድ ቆንጃጂቶቻችን አስቡበት በወንድ አታላግጡ እንላለን..!
ምንጭ #aka_BP's.com As #Spokane...!!!!

ትርጉም ብሩክ በየነ http://brookbeyene.blogspot.com/

WAKE UP CALL TO ALL OUR YOUNG LADIES;😀😀
*New world population statistics*
Population 7.8 billion people on planet earth.
Women *5.6 billion*
Men *2.2 billion*
So baby gal think twice before saying *NO* to a man.! 😀😀😀
Of the 2,2bn
1bn are married already
200 000 are in prison and mental institutions
Leaving 1bn 😮😮
500 million are jobless
5% are gay😨😨😨😨
3% are Catholic priests
10% are relatives
The remainder are above 66years & below 10 years...
GOOD LUCK DIVA's..!
#aka_BP's.com As #Spokane...!!!!